Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
