Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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