OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
