How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
