he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
