@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
