Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
