Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
