you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
