Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
