I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
