he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
