Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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