he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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