his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
