Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
