dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
did i walk over a car last night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am available for nakedness
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
