so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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