I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worst night to have a conscience
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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