You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
