Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
