u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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