Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
