this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
