One girl and one boy is just not enough.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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