he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
