I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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