The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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