Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
