You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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