Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
