Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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