she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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