I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
