I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
