Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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