$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
