I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
where are you?
Hypothermia
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I could fuck to npr.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
