I wish my penis had an off switch
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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