What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
