I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
