I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
