i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
