"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
