A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm at about main and main street
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
