apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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