These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
