Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
