Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
