between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
