my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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