I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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