can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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