I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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