we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
